Professional Skills

Posts Tagged ‘building rapport’

There’s an old saying that essentially warns us not to make assumptions because it can make us look foolish. Looking foolish is one of the many risks that come with making assumptions, but it isn’t the only one. Let’s step out of the routine office workplace for a moment and look at an extreme example of what can happen when you work from your own assumptions.

Imagine you are in a crowded, busy emergency room at a hospital, looking for a doctor or nurse. You are pacing  nervously in the hallway, holding a blood-soaked washcloth in one hand. A nurse approaches you, sees the washcloth, and gives you a tetanus shot before you can explain or protest. As the nurse takes the washcloth from you and starts to examine your hand, it becomes clear that you don’t have an injury. You then explain that your son or daughter is the one with the injury, and they had just stepped away to the rest room when the nurse whisked you away for treatment. Meanwhile, the person who really needed treatment is now sitting out in the waiting room.

What assumption was the nurse holding? Among other assumptions, that you were injured and needed immediate treatment, a noble job that is his or hers to perform.

What assumption were you holding? Most likely, that you would have a chance to explain your situation before anyone proceeded with any treatment.

This example may seem like an exaggeration, particularly given the intentional approach that today’s healthcare workers strive to use when assessing patients. That isn’t my reason for selecting it. My point is that communication is required in almost every workplace; it is rare for your work to be so isolated that it doesn’t touch at least one other person. Given that, there are a few things you can do in the spirit of collaboration to help surface your assumptions and ensure you are aligned with others who will be impacted by your actions.  

First, if you are a member of a team – especially if you or anyone else is new to the team – ask for time at the start of a project to talk about the team’s typical way of operating. If you hear anything that differs from your typical way of operating (your assumptions), bring it up. Ask if any of your ways of operating will be in conflict with the team’s norms.

Second, sometimes the words people use sound straightforward, but they hold different meaning to different people. Check in with colleagues from time to time to ensure that you are all talking about the same things and working toward the same outcomes. For example, let’s say your team has been tasked with creating an important report that senior management will use to make some big decisions. As the team starts gathering data for the report and assignments are being given, you might ask the team leader, “Louise, when you said the other day that a draft report will meet the initial deliverable for now, what does that draft need to contain? How much detail is important to include at this draft stage as opposed to later in the process?” Getting clarity about the expected level of detail up front can ensure that you don’t spend more or less time than required for success on the team’s overall deliverable.

In everyday workplace situations, if you work only from your assumptions it can result in lost productivity, bruised relationships, and general inefficiency. Don’t be the nurse who gives shots first and diagnoses the situation later. Surface your assumptions up front and invite others to do the same. You may learn a lot about how you are operating and what else you can do to work more effectively with others. This process may not save your life, but it may at least save time, effort and productivity that is best directed toward other work.

New York restaurateur Danny Meyer defines a “51 percenter” as an employee who brings job skills that are 51 percent emotional and 49 percent technical. Having worked in the hotel industry for 10 years, I share Mr. Meyer’s contention that the art of delivering true hospitality often comes from your heart more so than from your head.

Meyer goes on to say that service is about meeting the technical expectation, while the “hospitality quotient,” as he calls it, surpasses mere technical requirements to the ability to demonstrate a sense of being on the customer’s side. This is something I look for when hiring for customer-focused roles too. In my own case, when I seek to delight customers by anticipating and meeting needs they didn’t even realize they had, I get as much joy from that process as they do in the outcome, if not more so. Meyer calls this the “jazz level,” or the extent to which those 51 percenters are “jazzed” by coming to work in an environment that calls for them to deliver outstanding hospitality each day. Rain or shine, pleasant customers or surly, Meyer’s definition of a hospitality orientation is a core behavioral requirement for everyone he hires to work in one of his 12 restaurants. No jazz…no job.

Now, here are my three questions for you:

How would you define the hospitality quotient in your office?

Do you consider yourself a 51 percenter?

If not, what would it be like for you and your customers if you showed up this way, starting today?

You don’t have to work in a restaurant or hotel to bring the art of hospitality to your workplace. You don’t even have to work directly with external customers who pay you or your organization a fee. Most of us have at least one internal customer in another department that we have to serve at some point in our careers. Being a 51 percenter does require that you operate from a point of view that puts you firmly on the same team as your customers, however. Customers know better when this isn’t the case. One trip to the Returns and Exchanges counter at your typical department store will show you the difference.

It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money or time to bring a higher hospitality quotient to your office, either. The next time you are working on a customer request, challenge yourself to think three steps ahead of your customer. What else is possible beyond the initial inquiry or request they have made? What else can you do or say to demonstrate that you have their best interests at heart? Try it out, and tell me about your success!

For more about Danny Meyer and his philosophy about the art of hospitality, check out Setting the Table: The Transforming Power of Hospitality in Business (2006, Harper Collins).

Los Angeles is a long way from Venezuela. But somehow, Gustavo Dudamel never looks more at home than when he is on the platform as the new conductor of the LA Philharmonic. Dudamel is currently one of the most sought-after conductors in the world. Have I mentioned that he is 29 years old?

The Millennial Generation, or Gen Y as it is often called, is generally defined as those who were born between 1978 and 1996. They comprise more than 25% of the U.S. population. And in addition to being amongst the youngest in their workplaces, they are frequently the colleagues who are expressing strong views about the importance of brainstorming, their ability to generate creative solutions, and their interest in making a significant mark on the world. This is a generation who holds themselves and their organizations to a high standard.

Whether you are a leader of a team with a diverse age range or a team member who wants to learn more about what drives your colleagues, learning to work together effectively is about more than workplace satisfaction; it is about business growth and sustainability too, as more members of the Baby Boomer generation prepare to retire. Millennials and their slightly older colleagues from Generation X (born between 1965 and 1977) represent the blend of ages that will exist on the senior leadership teams of tomorrow. There are two new books on the shelves that I’ve found interesting on this topic. The first is What’s Next, Gen X? by Tamara Erickson. The second is Managing the Millennials by Espinoza, Ukleja and Rusch.  Both books include helpful research and practical tips to foster greater understanding and synergy between members of the multiple generations that are in today’s workplace.

Dudamel’s list of expectations and accomplishments grows by the day, by the way, as does his trademark curly hair, which he is known to toss about passionately while conducting. An accomplished violinist, Dudamel is the former Music Director of the Simon Bolivar Youth Orchestra and an important factor behind YOLA (Youth Orchestra Los Angeles), which makes it possible for low-income children throughout Los Angeles to participate in a first-rate musical education program. Dudamel credits his early days in a similar program, El Sistema, as the place that first nurtured his talent and his passion for music. His experience at El Sistema also inspired him to make a similar difference for children around the world through programs like YOLA. High expectations? Yes. But to a Millennial, big dreams and bold actions are an everyday expectation. If your organization hasn’t found a way to leverage this energy yet, now is a great time to start!

P.S. To watch Dudamel in action with the kids from YOLA, click here: http://www.laphil.com/gustavo/about.html

As a leadership consultant, executive coach, and trainer, I am constantly engaging in learning from situations that arise day-to-day, personally and professionally. I self-reflect and notice things about how I show up and how that impacts a situation. I was traveling to a client location and was unfamiliar with the train station and where I needed to go to catch my train. We’ll come back to this in a minute…

Flash back to sitting at home watching a talk show a few days earlier. The guest, Jerry Seinfeld and the host of his program, Marriage Ref were promoting their show. As comedians, they’re always ready with material that will garner laughter, so they generally have something humorous to offer the audience. What they were talking about was less humorous and more accurate in terms of people practicing courtesy when they interact with others.

As celebrities, they are often bombarded with autograph seekers and people wanting their photographs. “Look, I’m standing with Jerry Seinfeld!” Their status goes up and they have an interesting story to tell people the rest of their lives about how they “know” Jerry Seinfeld! These ordinary people tend to trespass on the celebrities’ personal space and invite themselves into conversations or impede the celebrity from walking any further as they shout out to sign an autograph. Jerry Seinfeld talked about his rules for signing autographs or posing with a fan for a photo. He said, “I will not sign an autograph or pose for a photo if the person does not ask me properly or say excuse me. Where has courtesy gone?” Of course his comedic delivery manifested laughter from the audience.

When people do offer the simple courtesy to ask permission, regardless of their position or status in society, they are sending a message. They are telling you that they will be extending civility, respect, validation that the person you want to interact with is important, and therefore, you SEE them and honor their contributions’ to meet a need you have.

Back to the train station – I was confused about where I needed to be. I had four pieces of luggage and was having a rough time of it. I couldn’t make sense of the signs and was seeking help. I saw a couple of older gentlemen standing near some gates for trains. They were Red Caps, and worked at the station. I approached them struggling with my luggage (most of it was material that couldn’t be shipped in time to meet the client’s delivery timeline for an unusual location. That’s another blog in the making!). I said, “Excuse me, could you wise men help me? I am not sure where to go and would really appreciate the benefit of your wisdom to point me in the right direction.” Do you know how they responded? “Well, you’ve said all of the right things! (with a smile), We’d be happy to help you. Here, let me give you a hand.”

They relieved me of my struggles with the bags, walked me over to a red cap that could take care of my bags, and then pointed me in the direction of my gate. They asked me if I needed any other help and then wished me happy travels. I felt like I was well taken care of and had peace of mind that I would make my train with a sense of certainty that my travels would improve and the challenge I was having with my luggage was solved.

The Red Caps could have pointed to the gate and left me with my bags to continue on my own power, struggling the whole time. I had already dropped two bags three times from the parking garage to the gate area. They could have continued their conversation and easily ignored me…but they didn’t. It is all about connecting with people.

The point of demonstrating courtesy and connecting with people as a leader is to know that no matter your position, status, or power…courtesy and valuing people creates a relationship that builds followership, loyalty and credibility. People will move in your direction if they feel a sense of reward in working with you. The reward here is being seen and validated for your contributions. When was the last time you truly took the time to acknowledge a staff member and offer the courtesy they deserve?