Becoming Indispensable: Lessons from NASA and Oprah

Every successful organization has at least one linchpin; some have dozens or even thousands. The linchpin is the essential element, the person who holds part of the organization together. Without the linchpin, the thing falls apart. 

– by Seth Godin in Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? (2010)

Two American icons have been getting a bit of attention from the media lately: NASA’s space shuttle program, and Oprah Winfrey.

In NASA’s case, the agency is in its final countdown as it brings the current space shuttle program to an end. Manned space flight has been a reality for America since 1969; it has become a part of our lives in some way, even if it is just to pause and watch the takeoffs and landings with awe and appreciation. A fleet of space shuttles has served the program since 1981, with each one serving as an important component in its own right. If Space Shuttle Endeavour lands on time this week, for example, it will have spent 299 days in space and traveled more than 122.8 million miles during its 25 flights. It launched on its first mission on May 7, 1992. (Source: www.nasa.gov)

In an interview on CBS Sunday Morning this past weekend (see clip and article here: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/05/29/sunday/main20067174.shtml?tag=contentBody;featuredPost-PE), NASA Administrator Charles Bolden became emotional as he talked about the legacy of the space shuttle program and the important groundwork it has laid for future space exploration and discovery. Orion, the next spacecraft that NASA plans to use for additional exploration, has benefited from past explorations as well; it will have twice the capacity of the Apollo spacecraft that carried men to the moon in the 1960’s. Each decade of effort has built upon the last so NASA can continue to learn from its discoveries and carry out its mission effectively. From the standpoint of talent, the men and women who have worked on each element of the space program are clearly indispensable in their own way. The application of their knowledge and skills has had to evolve continuously in order to keep up with technological advances and stay aligned with NASA’s mission. There can be little doubt that NASA has several “linchpins” in its midst.

In Oprah’s case, she has been a fixture on daytime television for 25 years. In addition to her efforts to provide practical information for people to use in their daily lives, she has served as a one-woman wave of philanthropy for decades. Schools and scholarships are just two of the things she has supported through her commitment of personal wealth and time. Many people who have been featured in recent television interviews about her show have made a similar comment: “What will I watch at 4pm now, without Oprah? There’s nothing like her!” I suspect that as much as people will miss her show – and I am one of those people – the loss they are feeling goes to something beyond simple entertainment. Oprah has been seen as a linchpin by millions of individuals and on some level, a society, in terms of the differences she has made through her show.

I am predicting that somewhere, on some level, you play the role of a linchpin in your life too. You may or may not be an engineer who designs space shuttles; you may not be the CEO of a media organization that beams its way into millions of homes each day. But if you are playing a role in an organization you have an opportunity to be indispensable to the mission of that organization, no matter how far from the mission you may think you are. Here are some tips you can use to become a linchpin, too.

  1. What is one thing that only you can do in service to your organization’s mission? Think about this not just from your task list, but from the standpoint of your unique combination of knowledge, skills, experience and perspective. You may be uniquely qualified to solve a problem or advance a goal that will have an impact on your team, your department, your division, or the organization overall. Once you have identified at least one thing you are uniquely qualified to contribute to, look at your current job. Are you spending some percentage of time on that one thing? If not, why not? What will it take to make a shift so that you are dedicating some time to it?
  2. Make it a habit, not just a goal, to collaborate with others and exchange knowledge. It is easy to become so focused on your own task list that you lose sight of your organization’s broader needs. Something that you are working on could be the perfect complement to what a colleague has been staying up all night to figure out. Don’t go overboard with shameless self-promotion, but look for opportunities at the water cooler or the staff meeting to create connections and offer your insights. You may be surprised at how quickly this can become a lot like the game, Six Degrees of Separation.
  3. Carry a spirit of generosity into your work without undue worry that you will be taken advantage of. By “generosity,” do I mean you should give all of your knowledge and effort away without care for any credit or return? No…but that’s close. Many performance management systems reward us for results and sometimes, for innovation. I absolutely believe it is important to be rewarded and recognized, as appropriate, for what you bring to the table. I also believe you become indispensable not just for producing results, but for producing the type of environment where others are inspired to produce results, too. The efforts you make to create space for other people’s ideas, and the intentional way you support and encourage other people’s success, will add to your own.

These are just a few talent management strategies that I have used, and that I’ve coached clients to use, in an effort to become indispensable. What has worked for you? Write and tell me about your successes!

What’s Your Assumption?

There’s an old saying that essentially warns us not to make assumptions because it can make us look foolish. Looking foolish is one of the many risks that come with making assumptions, but it isn’t the only one. Let’s step out of the routine office workplace for a moment and look at an extreme example of what can happen when you work from your own assumptions.

Imagine you are in a crowded, busy emergency room at a hospital, looking for a doctor or nurse. You are pacing  nervously in the hallway, holding a blood-soaked washcloth in one hand. A nurse approaches you, sees the washcloth, and gives you a tetanus shot before you can explain or protest. As the nurse takes the washcloth from you and starts to examine your hand, it becomes clear that you don’t have an injury. You then explain that your son or daughter is the one with the injury, and they had just stepped away to the rest room when the nurse whisked you away for treatment. Meanwhile, the person who really needed treatment is now sitting out in the waiting room.

What assumption was the nurse holding? Among other assumptions, that you were injured and needed immediate treatment, a noble job that is his or hers to perform.

What assumption were you holding? Most likely, that you would have a chance to explain your situation before anyone proceeded with any treatment.

This example may seem like an exaggeration, particularly given the intentional approach that today’s healthcare workers strive to use when assessing patients. That isn’t my reason for selecting it. My point is that communication is required in almost every workplace; it is rare for your work to be so isolated that it doesn’t touch at least one other person. Given that, there are a few things you can do in the spirit of collaboration to help surface your assumptions and ensure you are aligned with others who will be impacted by your actions.  

First, if you are a member of a team – especially if you or anyone else is new to the team – ask for time at the start of a project to talk about the team’s typical way of operating. If you hear anything that differs from your typical way of operating (your assumptions), bring it up. Ask if any of your ways of operating will be in conflict with the team’s norms.

Second, sometimes the words people use sound straightforward, but they hold different meaning to different people. Check in with colleagues from time to time to ensure that you are all talking about the same things and working toward the same outcomes. For example, let’s say your team has been tasked with creating an important report that senior management will use to make some big decisions. As the team starts gathering data for the report and assignments are being given, you might ask the team leader, “Louise, when you said the other day that a draft report will meet the initial deliverable for now, what does that draft need to contain? How much detail is important to include at this draft stage as opposed to later in the process?” Getting clarity about the expected level of detail up front can ensure that you don’t spend more or less time than required for success on the team’s overall deliverable.

In everyday workplace situations, if you work only from your assumptions it can result in lost productivity, bruised relationships, and general inefficiency. Don’t be the nurse who gives shots first and diagnoses the situation later. Surface your assumptions up front and invite others to do the same. You may learn a lot about how you are operating and what else you can do to work more effectively with others. This process may not save your life, but it may at least save time, effort and productivity that is best directed toward other work.

What Do Dinosaurs and Chickens Have In Common?

No, this isn’t a lead-in to a bad joke.

Paleontologists like Jack Horner have been doing research that shows there are some genetic markers that dinosaurs and present-day birds, like chickens, may share. Some scientists challenge whether birds or dinosaurs came first, but a traditional view suggests that birds represent evolution at its best; in essence, that today’s birds began as dinosaurs that adapted to the environment in order for the species to survive.

Organizations are not exactly like dinosaurs, but they do experience “evolution” or change throughout the year, as does the world around us. Each day presents an organization with opportunities to adapt in order to survive and hopefully, to grow. Both private and public sector organizations that adapt most effectively can find themselves operating in new places, serving others in new ways, and attracting talented new employees, with the end result of adding even more value to the world around them during the process. For-profit organizations often have the added incentive of increasing revenue or market share by adapting and evolving in this way. Organizations that resist adaptation can find themselves “extinct,” or at the very least, wondering why their employees and customers are looking elsewhere for a fresh approach to the services or opportunities that their organization once provided.

What about you? How have you adapted to your environment this year? The same opportunity to adapt and grow exists each day that you choose to come to work. The start of a new year is also a great time to take a fresh look at the next step in your professional development. What will it look like for you to continue to evolve, adapt, and add value to your organization next year?

It Gets Better

It gets better. That may be a message we’ve all heard recently in a variety of different ways, for different circumstances, and in different media. But I feel compelled to share some thoughts with you if you’re one of the thousands of people who is, through whatever circumstance, finding yourself without a job, finding yourself unemployed, or feeling desperate that the clock is ticking until you receive your pink slip: have faith that it will, in fact, get better.

Now I personally know how discouraging it can be when you feel no one is in your court. Through no fault of our own, we find ourselves in positions that we’ve never experienced before. Our support network of family and friends does what they can to support us, but in the end, we feel all the weight and gravity of our situation rests squarely on our shoulders; and, quite frankly, our shoulders are tired.

The bills mount, the mortgage company wants their money, the family worries about what the future holds. For some, it can be a matter of living from paycheck to paycheck, and finding new and creative ways to survive this protracted economic downturn.

But what can you do when you’re at your wit’s end? When you’ve exhausted every avenue you see as viable, when you’ve depleted all of your resources, and you are left feeling desperate, hopeless, and as if you have no choice but to take a radical, non-positive action to remedy the situation?

You can pour all of your energy into the mantra of “It gets better.” One of my most trusted advisors and mentors, a man by the name of Bill Bosworth, provided me some sage advice a while back. He said (and I paraphrase), “Scott, when times are good, take the time to prepare yourself for the bumpy times ahead; when times are bumpy, take the time to prepare for the good times ahead. It all comes around.”

Have faith in your abilities, in your self, and in your truth. It gets better.

The “Real” Grammar Rules

I am a practical person.  Oh, no doubt I love discussing the theory and craft of professional development; dreaming great dreams is how we move forward.  But we live in the here and the now, and I’m happy to accept that theory doesn’t do very well at bringing home the bacon—at least not for most of us.

So after years of teaching grammar and writing, I’ve come up with three timeless, practical grammar rules for the business environment—yes, grammar rules with no exceptions:

Rule number one: When in doubt, rewrite it!

Oh, you know the grammar rule for whatever it is you are writing, but does your reader?  And if your reader doesn’t know the rule, how well is he or she likely to understand what you’re trying to communicate?  Ultimately, writing is about communicating as perfectly as possible what it is that you want to say.  Consider this example:

“When the Harley Roadster hit the 100 year-old oak tree, it was badly damaged.”

You may have it clear in your mind that the poor old oak was badly damaged—a grammar rule would back you on this—but logic would lead the reader to surmise otherwise.  When editing your document, always try to see the various ways someone can interpret what you’ve written.  If readers can misinterpret your writing, try again.  Rewrite it.

Here’s a better way to write the sentence above: “When the Harley Roadster hit the 100 year-old oak tree, the bike was badly damaged.”  By simply replacing the pronoun “it” with “the bike,” there’s now no doubt in the reader’s mind about what you meant to say.

Rule number two: The “boss rule”

Stop beating your head against the wall; in the end, what the boss says is what you should do.  If you can’t handle that, it’s time to get a job somewhere else.  And yes, this applies to writing style and grammar.  If you have a good relationship with your boss, go ahead and push back on her insistence that you eliminate the comma before the conjunction and in a list or series.  The shocking truth is that there are very few hard and fast grammar rules.  Grammar is as much about preference and style—current style—as it is about rules.

In every class I teach I hear the complaint, “You recommend we write it this way, but my boss insists that we write it a different way.”  Okay, write it that way!  Unless there’s a grammar rule—a real, no-kidding, documented grammar rule—to the contrary, do what the boss suggests.

And that brings me to rule number three: Language changes. Get over it!

Did I really start a sentence with the word And?  Yes.  And from time to time, I’ll start a sentence with But.  Or I might—dare I say it—end a sentence with a preposition.  Gadzooks!  I might even use a contraction in my business correspondence.  Guess what?  It’s okay to do so; the former president of the United States said I could use “common, everyday words” in my business writing.  Go ahead and google President Clinton’s 1998 Plain Language Memorandum.

In a recent writing class comprised of federal employees, when I brought up that the Plain Language Memorandum suggests it’s acceptable to use contractions (common, every-day words), I nearly had a revolt on my hands. “It’s unprofessional!” several declared.  Another participant complained, “I was told that I shouldn’t use contractions in business writing.”  I smiled and calmly asked the class, “Would you consider your responses unprofessional or inappropriate?”  “Of course not,” was the response.  I followed, “But all of your statements just contained contractions.”  Silence.

I don’t write using the language of my ancestors.  I can’t tell you the last time I used the expression “four score and seven years ago” in a note to my boss.  Nor did our forefathers write in the language of Shakespeare, just as Shakespeare did not write in the language of Beowulf.  Let me be clear.  I’m not advocating that we riddle our documents with the expressions “dude” and “um.”  But our language evolves and our writing evolves along with the spoken language—thankfully.  Yet for some reason we are uncomfortable with changing our writing.

Maybe this says more about human nature than grammar, but it’s okay to move forward in our writing.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about our changing business writing “rules.”

Are You a “51 Percenter”?

New York restaurateur Danny Meyer defines a “51 percenter” as an employee who brings job skills that are 51 percent emotional and 49 percent technical. Having worked in the hotel industry for 10 years, I share Mr. Meyer’s contention that the art of delivering true hospitality often comes from your heart more so than from your head.

Meyer goes on to say that service is about meeting the technical expectation, while the “hospitality quotient,” as he calls it, surpasses mere technical requirements to the ability to demonstrate a sense of being on the customer’s side. This is something I look for when hiring for customer-focused roles too. In my own case, when I seek to delight customers by anticipating and meeting needs they didn’t even realize they had, I get as much joy from that process as they do in the outcome, if not more so. Meyer calls this the “jazz level,” or the extent to which those 51 percenters are “jazzed” by coming to work in an environment that calls for them to deliver outstanding hospitality each day. Rain or shine, pleasant customers or surly, Meyer’s definition of a hospitality orientation is a core behavioral requirement for everyone he hires to work in one of his 12 restaurants. No jazz…no job.

Now, here are my three questions for you:

How would you define the hospitality quotient in your office?

Do you consider yourself a 51 percenter?

If not, what would it be like for you and your customers if you showed up this way, starting today?

You don’t have to work in a restaurant or hotel to bring the art of hospitality to your workplace. You don’t even have to work directly with external customers who pay you or your organization a fee. Most of us have at least one internal customer in another department that we have to serve at some point in our careers. Being a 51 percenter does require that you operate from a point of view that puts you firmly on the same team as your customers, however. Customers know better when this isn’t the case. One trip to the Returns and Exchanges counter at your typical department store will show you the difference.

It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money or time to bring a higher hospitality quotient to your office, either. The next time you are working on a customer request, challenge yourself to think three steps ahead of your customer. What else is possible beyond the initial inquiry or request they have made? What else can you do or say to demonstrate that you have their best interests at heart? Try it out, and tell me about your success!

For more about Danny Meyer and his philosophy about the art of hospitality, check out Setting the Table: The Transforming Power of Hospitality in Business (2006, Harper Collins).

Youth is Not Wasted on The Young

Los Angeles is a long way from Venezuela. But somehow, Gustavo Dudamel never looks more at home than when he is on the platform as the new conductor of the LA Philharmonic. Dudamel is currently one of the most sought-after conductors in the world. Have I mentioned that he is 29 years old?

The Millennial Generation, or Gen Y as it is often called, is generally defined as those who were born between 1978 and 1996. They comprise more than 25% of the U.S. population. And in addition to being amongst the youngest in their workplaces, they are frequently the colleagues who are expressing strong views about the importance of brainstorming, their ability to generate creative solutions, and their interest in making a significant mark on the world. This is a generation who holds themselves and their organizations to a high standard.

Whether you are a leader of a team with a diverse age range or a team member who wants to learn more about what drives your colleagues, learning to work together effectively is about more than workplace satisfaction; it is about business growth and sustainability too, as more members of the Baby Boomer generation prepare to retire. Millennials and their slightly older colleagues from Generation X (born between 1965 and 1977) represent the blend of ages that will exist on the senior leadership teams of tomorrow. There are two new books on the shelves that I’ve found interesting on this topic. The first is What’s Next, Gen X? by Tamara Erickson. The second is Managing the Millennials by Espinoza, Ukleja and Rusch.  Both books include helpful research and practical tips to foster greater understanding and synergy between members of the multiple generations that are in today’s workplace.

Dudamel’s list of expectations and accomplishments grows by the day, by the way, as does his trademark curly hair, which he is known to toss about passionately while conducting. An accomplished violinist, Dudamel is the former Music Director of the Simon Bolivar Youth Orchestra and an important factor behind YOLA (Youth Orchestra Los Angeles), which makes it possible for low-income children throughout Los Angeles to participate in a first-rate musical education program. Dudamel credits his early days in a similar program, El Sistema, as the place that first nurtured his talent and his passion for music. His experience at El Sistema also inspired him to make a similar difference for children around the world through programs like YOLA. High expectations? Yes. But to a Millennial, big dreams and bold actions are an everyday expectation. If your organization hasn’t found a way to leverage this energy yet, now is a great time to start!

P.S. To watch Dudamel in action with the kids from YOLA, click here: http://www.laphil.com/gustavo/about.html

The Contribution of the Mirror Neuron System to Effective Leadership

The field of leadership has invested in services and skill building areas such as mentoring, coaching, team building, role modelling, and didactic exercises to enable people to repeat and paraphrase conversations in order to replicate significant information or actions in the hopes of understanding others. The business world uses these various services and skill sets to further enhance skill development, relationship building, doing things the “right” way, and being effective communicators. This entire suite of services and training rely on the support of the brain’s mirror neuron system in order to work effectively.

Mirror neurons are important for understanding the actions of other people, and for learning new skills by imitation. Recent research published in Spring 2010, confirmed the presence of mirror neurons in the human brain.

The brain’s mirror neuron system plays a critical role for effective leadership as it provides people with the blueprint to follow desired norms or preferred behavior within their organizations. The body language, the method of speaking, the norms on dress and time management, the implied expectation to work 10 or 12 hours a day all fall under “follow the leader” in modeling key norms for an organization. Key norms are further observed and demonstrated through the healthy activity of the brain’s mirror neuron systems in people throughout the organization.

Whenever there is power in the room in the form of leadership at any level, people pay attention. Every action and behavior is noticed and assessed. It is then replicated, because the “leader” did it, it must be okay! Cultural norms are demonstrated and mimicked to set direction in organizations. The mirror neuron systems in the people that make up an organization serve to propagate observed behavior.

When leaders communicate, there may be a specific style they use in one-on-one dialogue or when addressing an all-hands meeting to share information. What people throughout the organization notice is whether or not the leader is a great speaker and demonstrates phenomenal skills in articulating the direction of the business. The very act of observing the speaker helps the audience capture the actions in the mirror neuron system. Then they associate the message with the behaviors demonstrated while standing in front of the group. As other leaders who’ve observed the speaker move to the front of the room located in other areas of the business, their mirror neuron systems replicate the demonstrated and desired skills seen from the original speaker. This will spread throughout the organization like a ripple in a pond. Mimicking the observed behavior in lower level staff meetings may strengthen communication skills.

You can take that scenario and apply it to facilitating an important stakeholder meeting or delivering a performance appraisal. Any professional skills that leaders use as part of doing the work or working on the business, are subject to activating the mirror neuron system and influencing the business. Leaders have to be accountable for their actions, as they will influence anyone and everyone by their highly visible actions.

Leadership modeling exemplary behavior in the organization, or on the flip side, unethical behavior will set a standard for which the mirror neurons will follow. Poor behavior is often tagged with the phrase, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”, really isn’t true! What happens in Vegas will be replicated in the brain’s mirror neuron system by everyone who observed it and or participated in it! In the same vein, what happens in the conference room, good or bad, doesn’t only stay in the conference room! The mirror neuron system replicators are watching! Therefore, the behavior will show up somewhere in the organization, somehow when you least expect it!

Excuse Me! Courtesy and Leadership

As a leadership consultant, executive coach, and trainer, I am constantly engaging in learning from situations that arise day-to-day, personally and professionally. I self-reflect and notice things about how I show up and how that impacts a situation. I was traveling to a client location and was unfamiliar with the train station and where I needed to go to catch my train. We’ll come back to this in a minute…

Flash back to sitting at home watching a talk show a few days earlier. The guest, Jerry Seinfeld and the host of his program, Marriage Ref were promoting their show. As comedians, they’re always ready with material that will garner laughter, so they generally have something humorous to offer the audience. What they were talking about was less humorous and more accurate in terms of people practicing courtesy when they interact with others.

As celebrities, they are often bombarded with autograph seekers and people wanting their photographs. “Look, I’m standing with Jerry Seinfeld!” Their status goes up and they have an interesting story to tell people the rest of their lives about how they “know” Jerry Seinfeld! These ordinary people tend to trespass on the celebrities’ personal space and invite themselves into conversations or impede the celebrity from walking any further as they shout out to sign an autograph. Jerry Seinfeld talked about his rules for signing autographs or posing with a fan for a photo. He said, “I will not sign an autograph or pose for a photo if the person does not ask me properly or say excuse me. Where has courtesy gone?” Of course his comedic delivery manifested laughter from the audience.

When people do offer the simple courtesy to ask permission, regardless of their position or status in society, they are sending a message. They are telling you that they will be extending civility, respect, validation that the person you want to interact with is important, and therefore, you SEE them and honor their contributions’ to meet a need you have.

Back to the train station – I was confused about where I needed to be. I had four pieces of luggage and was having a rough time of it. I couldn’t make sense of the signs and was seeking help. I saw a couple of older gentlemen standing near some gates for trains. They were Red Caps, and worked at the station. I approached them struggling with my luggage (most of it was material that couldn’t be shipped in time to meet the client’s delivery timeline for an unusual location. That’s another blog in the making!). I said, “Excuse me, could you wise men help me? I am not sure where to go and would really appreciate the benefit of your wisdom to point me in the right direction.” Do you know how they responded? “Well, you’ve said all of the right things! (with a smile), We’d be happy to help you. Here, let me give you a hand.”

They relieved me of my struggles with the bags, walked me over to a red cap that could take care of my bags, and then pointed me in the direction of my gate. They asked me if I needed any other help and then wished me happy travels. I felt like I was well taken care of and had peace of mind that I would make my train with a sense of certainty that my travels would improve and the challenge I was having with my luggage was solved.

The Red Caps could have pointed to the gate and left me with my bags to continue on my own power, struggling the whole time. I had already dropped two bags three times from the parking garage to the gate area. They could have continued their conversation and easily ignored me…but they didn’t. It is all about connecting with people.

The point of demonstrating courtesy and connecting with people as a leader is to know that no matter your position, status, or power…courtesy and valuing people creates a relationship that builds followership, loyalty and credibility. People will move in your direction if they feel a sense of reward in working with you. The reward here is being seen and validated for your contributions. When was the last time you truly took the time to acknowledge a staff member and offer the courtesy they deserve?

I’ll Bring the Pepsi and Pepperoni Pizza

Here’s a little test: It’s Friday afternoon on a beautiful spring day, and everyone is ready to depart for a great weekend. You get some information and suddenly realize you need people reporting to you or working with you to work all weekend on a project you need to get out by Monday morning, 8:00. You are about to walk into a meeting to ask them to do this.

Quick: How are you feeling?

If you’re like many leaders, you might be experiencing dread, aversion or fear. Who wouldn’t? Well, some.

So let me tell a story.

Years ago, I had a boss who asked me to handle a project that took ALL my weekends in February – a mercifully short month (and at least it is in the winter).

But I wasn’t upset, didn’t push back, and actually got some pleasure out of knowing my work would help him.

Even more surprisingly, I last worked for this boss a decade ago. If he called me up today and asked if I would give up my weekend, stopping only for pepperoni pizza and Pepsi breaks, I would not even hesitate. In fact, I’d say “I’m on the way now, and why don’t I pick up the food on the way?” I would be there with a smile on my face.

I don’t even work for this guy anymore, and I would welcome the opportunity to help him.

What’s the secret?

The phrase “discretionary effort” is sometimes used, and I think many people are probably confused by it. Here’s what it means. It means that you will go above and beyond the requirements of your job – for whatever reason. It means the extra effort you willingly provide – not as a result of coercion.

It’s not about pay, it’s not about having a nice office, it’s not about getting a certain title, and it’s not about anything except . . . relationship.

Yes, relationship. That vague, hard-to-define, off-the-balance-sheet intangible. Relationship gets you commitment, effort, alignment, collaboration, communication and all the other things we know are crucial in performance in knowledge organizations.

You see, because my boss treated me the way he did, I would go the extra 50 miles for him.

So how did he treat me? With respect, openness, truth-telling, deep listening, a sense of humor and compassion.

This may shock you, but when I first moved to the city where I worked for him, we were talking on the phone one weekend, when I happened to be assembling my new barbeque grill. I knew him to be pretty handy with fixing things, and I asked him if he knew what a certain part name meant. He figured out what I was doing, and a few minutes later knocked on my door with his tool box. We had a beer and built the grill.

Twenty years after that, I would be happy to show up with the pepperoni and Pepsis.